We have finally entered what can be described as the rainy season here in Cambodia and with it we’ve moved from brief heavy showers (an hour or so a day) to more prolonged periods of heavy rain, with the dark grey skies and dull light resonant of Manchester, but with added heat and humidity (and a hell of a lot more electrical storm activity too).
The weather change has also brought with it a change in my health. It started with sweating. Nothing unusual there, hot and sweaty is my default state, but this week it’s felt different – a kind of cold extreme clamminess, an almost permanent hot flush eek!! And then I got the mother of all headaches. And so I took to my bed and I slept and hallucinated and woke and threw up and slept and hallucinated and woke and got up and went dizzy and sat down again and sweated (cold and clammy) and blah blah blah.
And in amongst this minor sucky shite happening in my life, my friends are hurting. Both here in Cambodia and in the UK, people I care about deeply are dealing with some really crappy stuff and that sucks.
In trying to deal with stuff this week I’ve learnt something. I’m craving the real, deep, face to face connections that I have with my friends and family and with only more superficial connection as my mainstay I have found myself struggling to stay positive. As my headache worsened and more bad news arrived my mood blackened and I could feel myself sinking.
So today when I woke I made a pledge to invite the positive into my life today and spend as much time as possible focusing on it.
To start, I revisited the photos I took of the amazing sky at sunset yesterday – the positive by product of the now shitty weather! Check out the sunset below and if you want to see what we get hours and hours of before such sunsets click here:
I then took a good look at my skin in the mirror. I may be sweating like a moose but by god my skin looks good as a result. The sleep has also helped (even though it has been a bit trippy these past few days) leaving my eyes bright and the under eye bags all but gone.
And as I headed out to work I vowed to engage with my lovely new acquaintances on my route to work. They may not offer me the deep connection I am craving but they do bring joy into my life, and today I captured a bit of that joy by taking a picture of each and every one of them – something that surprisingly they got as much pleasure from as I did, each of them asking to see their picture and grinning happily when I obliged.
As I sit writing this on my lunch break I’m planning a trip to ‘The Trafford Centre’ where I will indulge in a Costa Coffee for lunch, savouring each lovely, ridiculously expensive drop of it whilst reminiscing about the times in China when a rarely discovered nasty Nescafe 3in1 was the equivalent of this now readily available luxury.
Throughout the day I’m going to continue to try my best to bask in every moment of life and love and laughter that I am so fortunate to experience in my sweaty, clammy, slightly headachy and extremely rainy life.
And while I’m doing so I’ll hold a place in my heart for those I care about who are going through horrible, horrible stuff right now.
Love to you all xxx