Getting a grip


Paralysis and procrastination are still the overriding theme of life here in Phnom Penh at present as I fail miserably to get over my fear of the what, where and how of the next phase.

This has been compounded by an even more imminent fear – the coming 5 days.  5 days that will see me sit through 32 hours of my numpty colleagues turning my beautifully crafted leadership development workshop into, at best, something resembling a pile up on the M6.

I wish I could say that I think I’m being overly pessimistic with my prediction but the last few days have left me in no doubt on that score.

  • I was given one day to not only deliver the 2 day workshop to 6 of my colleagues, but also to teach them how to deliver it.
  • I was shown the translated version of the workshop presentation – lovingly prepared from version 1 of the workshop despite my colleagues having had significant input into version 2, aka the final version.
  • I was shown the ‘delegate pack’ they’re planning to duplicate and handout, complete with copies of all of the trainer notes and workshop ‘lesson’ plans.
  • After pointing out the error in the above, I was asked which handouts they needed to prepare for the trainees.  No one batted an eye when I answered “the ones that say ‘for trainees’ on the top”.
  • As of 4.30pm on Friday the venue for the session on Monday was as yet unconfirmed.  I sit writing this at 7.15 on Sunday evening and still don’t know where it will be and what time it will start.
  • I was visited 5 times on Friday by a very stressed admin assistant who was despatched by my numpty boss to find out what various words mean.  When I asked her why the translator wasn’t dealing with this I was met with a blank stare and later informed that numpty boss himself was doing the translating – yes that is the same numpty boss that can hardly string a sentence together in English just in case you were wondering.

And knowing all this, and being able to use it as a fairly accurate predictor of the week ahead,  today I’ve had to start making preparations.  I’ve had to stop wallowing in the pit of fear and doing all the stuff that makes me feel worse but is safe because it’s familiar and instead do stuff that gets me in the right head space to get through what lies ahead.

I’m not sure how much sleep I’ll get tonight or whether any slumber I do manage  will be free of freaky dreams borne out of my worries for the week.  But I do know that I’ll go to bed this evening thankful to each and every one of the numpty team at the Ministry of Fish for being  soooooo incomptenent that I’ve finally emerged from the pit and got a grip!



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