Reasons why Norman is a nob!

 

Thanks to Saint Vic for this blog post suggestion.

 

As you may be aware, Norman is my chimp (The Chimp Paradox), a master of negative self talk, confidence shattering put downs and purveyor of reasons why Sara is a shit, fraudulent human being unworthy of love and understanding.

 

So, not the best fellow to have hanging around generally, and certainly not while I work on phase two of Becoming Me and explore creative ways to use my talents to earn cash whilst at the same time loving the life I’m living.

 

But hang around he does and consequently he and I regularly engage in spats as I seek to put myself out there.

 

When relaying my latest crisis of confidence to Vic via What’s App she suggested I write down a list of all the reasons why Norman is a nob, so that each time he interjects I have it to instantly refer to to help me put Norman in his place.

 

And so here it is, my list of reasons that Norman is a nob are:

 

  1. 9 times out of ten he is wrong in his assertions
  2. He only gets to say so much because I listen to him
  3. He talks in a whiney, pathetic voice, has a limited vocabulary and repeats himself a lot
  4. No one else believes what he says
  5. In fact, no one else can see or hear him unless I tell them, because he only exists in my head
  6. He’s a chimp FFS
  7. No, he’s actually not a chimp, he’s a f*cking make believe chimp who I’ve let live rent free in my head for far too long
  8. He’s so insecure that he has to play on my insecurities to give himself purpose
  9. He’s scared that if I succeed I won’t need him anymore
  10. I don’t need him anymore!

 

I’m sure there are more but that’s a good few to start with.

 

Up yours Norman!

The message below is especially for you (apologies to any sensitive flowers (and my mum) reading this)!

you-there-fuck-off-trollable.jpg

 

 

 

 

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