Returning to the UK is not all sunshine and roses for me. There’s certainly a flipside and here’s a taste of it for your reading pleasure:
Having to think about what to wear. Here I know that I can just throw on one thin layer and I’ll be hot all day. For the next 3 months I head back to the quandary that is four seasons in one day coupled with an inability to deal with cold developed over two years in the tropics and a distinct lack of vaguely warm clothes – deep joy!
My poor skin won’t know what’s hit it. The heat and humidity that is my every day may make me sweat like a moose but it also means my skin doesn’t need moisturising. A week in the UK and my limbs will take on a lizard like appearance as my skin dries out bit by bit.
And then there’s my feet. My return last year led to me developing something akin to trench foot. Admittedly I did wear my flip flops all summer despite the really shitty, cold weather (in my defence the only other footwear I own consists of a pair of trainers, numerous pairs of ridiculously high heels and winter boots) but the thought of developing scaly flaky feet once more is not one that I relish.
Grumpiness. In reality, it’s just Brits being British but as you know I relish the opportunity to smile, wave and or chat to anyone and everyone and we all know how well that goes down back home. My first UK based journey will be by London Underground and I may need to don my sunglasses to avoid being noticed actually looking at people on the tube for fear of being arrested for being a nutter.
Losing my stopping the traffic superpowers is a tough one to adjust to. I am so used to just stepping or cycling out in the road, weaving my way in and around the melee of traffic, even occasionally presenting my palm to an oncoming vehicle as I saunter across the road. Back I head to a land where the rules are actually followed and so I guess I’ll have to do so too.
My access to everyday bonkersness is likely to be seriously reduced. Only yesterday, I sat having my tea at a noodle shop on the riverside and watched as a guy decided to walk backwards down the road as part of his exercise regime. Yes it was rush hour. Yes there was loads of traffic. Did anyone bother their boots? Hell no! A couple of motorbikes swerved, one car slowed a little but the street vendor didn’t bat an eyelid when backwards walking man backed straight into his sugarcane cart. In fairness, backwards walking man didn’t flinch either, he just adjusted his path and carried on reverse walking. Just an average day in the Kingdom of Wonder!
So there you have it, the bits I’m not so enamoured about in relation to my impending journey west. Wish me luck.