You know you’re winning at teaching when:
- A child falls asleep sitting up in circle time so you lie her down in the book corner and she sleeps through the next two hours
- You cycle home from work singing “roly poly, roly poly, up, up, up” to yourself after having sung it twice a day for the past week
- You’ve gone from hearing “Miss Sara” uttered every 5 seconds for 3 hours straight during your first stint at the school, to a variety of monikers raising from the acceptable but vaguely irritating “Miss Chara” (a bastardisation of my name and the teacher I’ve replaced) to the outright bonkers “Miss Booron” this time round.
- When a child says toilet to you 10 times whilst jigging about and you still fail to understand what he wants
- You have to sit on your hands to stop the be perfect in you grabbing the pencil from out of a child’s hand because they’re not drawing the tail on the tadpole the right way
- Getting up from circle time is akin to a circus elephant getting up from kneeling
- You wish Bot Bot was the name of one of the children in your class not the morning one as it’d be easy to remember and would make you giggle every time you said it
- 75% of your time in the classroom is spent saying things like ‘oh wow’ and ‘yes’ and ‘that’s great’ to try to mask the fact that you don’t know what someone has said
- You spend a ridiculous amount of your day pulling up shorts that are falling down
- A kid grabs hold of your legs and then utters ‘urgh’ when he realises how wet and sweaty your legs and dress are
- You use your really annoying, over animated, enthusiastic teacher voice when you order your dumplings for dinner on the way home from school
- The highpoint of your afternoon is when you’re lying on the floor squirming around transforming from a tadpole into a frog
- It’s easier to just pick the little ones up and physically move them than trying to get them to understand what you want them to do
And all of that is just three days in – I dread to think how long the list will be in a couple of weeks time!