Things that go quack, meow & chug in the night

My first night in my new home was not all plain sailing.  Now charged with paying for my electricity I decided to forgo the air conditioning or fan, cheapskate that I am, and see how I got on.


BIG mistake.  Not only does A/C or a fan keep you cool, it also drowns out the unfamiliar noises of the night in a new home.


I dozed off at about 10pm only to be rudely awoken an hour later by what sounded like a duck being throttled.  The noise continued off and on for 20 minutes or so and then stopped.


I put some music on, set the timer and dozed back off, only to woken an hour later by a cat meowing like its life depended on it.  After a while, the cat’s meows were joined by the odd shrieky quacks of the strangled duck.  Vague traffic noises seeped through from the distance and then to top it off, along came some kind of plane chugging noisily through the sky (I know planes don’t chug but grant me some artistic license won’t you).


And then again the silence.  I lay waiting for it to be broken but it wasn’t and so this time I opted for a guided meditation and dozed again.


I’m not sure what woke me for the third time, but about 5 minutes after waking there was one last quack from the duck thing and then the sound of a neighbour’s toilet flushing.


At this point I gave up on sleep and turned to that trusty companion of all insomniacs – the internet.  And low and behold, there was St Vicky of Urmston & Horwich, currently on her jollies en Paris but still there to help out a damsel in distress.  She even ‘accompanied me’ to the loo as I got myself too scared to go out of my bedroom lest I be attacked by the duck slayer.


I snoozed intermittently until my alarm went off at 5.30am and promptly fell back to sleep waking sharply 25 minutes later as I was due to meet Totie shortly after 6.


Nearly 24 hours later I’m sitting on my terrace typing this blog listening to the sounds of my night once more.


I heard the  strangled duck just now – I think it may actually be human but will have to investigate further and will fill you in if I ever find out what on earth it is that goes shriek quack in the night.







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